Book Description from Barnes & Noble:
“Meeting Women’s (Low) Expectations is several things. It is a dating guide, a philosophical treatise, a self-help guide, a commentary of society, and an observation on modern male-female relationships. Most of all it is a fun, humorous look at modern American society. A society that does such a good job providing material needs, that our own nature works against us, allowing women to make poor choices and encourage unproductive traits in men.
The author has drawn upon many personal experiences gained while obtaining an engineering degree, working as a nightclub door man, and a single guy in his late 20’s.
The book starts with a simple question: Why do women date the men they do? Why does it seem men with no jobs, unstable lives, and generally poor prospects have little trouble finding women?
In simple terms many women find “unfulfilled” potential more attractive than fulfilled potential/success. This is in direct conflict with what society tells us and women’s often stated desires.
After “discovering” this phenomenon, the author created a strategy to enable anyone to give many women what they are looking for- which is a guy who isn’t necessarily going anywhere but has “unfulfilled potential” that she can take part in.
Both men and women can benefit from this guide as it adds a new observation to interactions between the genders in current society.”
First, out of the interest of full disclosure- I know the author personally. I have heard this theory many times, although I did not realize he put it down in a book until more than a year after he released it.
Also, a reminder about how I review books- I rate works based on whether or not I enjoyed them. Typos, awkward syntax, etc. do not necessarily result in a lower rating unless there were so many, they impeded my enjoyment. In addition, my ratings are not reflective of whether or not I agree with a stance. That does not mean that Meeting Women’s Low Expectations has any of these issues, I am just reminding you how I rate works I read so you understand why I gave this four stars.
If you are a woman, this short book will likely anger you. What is interesting is why it will anger you. That’s where discussion would come in. If you do read this, please post comments. I am really curious to hear about others’ responses.
The premise of this work is that women subconsciously, or even consciously in some cases, forego successful and stable companions in favor of under-achievers with potential and why that distinction is important- women want to be able to claim a part in a man’s success. That’s the main theory; there are others. So if a man she meets in a bar tells her he is a successful engineer with a six-figure salary, the woman will lose interest. On the other hand, if she meets a carpenter who does odd jobs here and there, she will be all over him because she is attracted to the fact that she can help him reach his potential, thus taking (at least partial) credit for his success. As a result, when a man goes looking for a girlfriend/ potential wife, he should intentionally lie about his work situation if he is indeed successful and stable. This is a good point to share my favorite quote of the book:
But was it so morally wrong for me to portray myself as something different than I am? When a woman wears makeup, is that lying? Is a push-up bra considered a lie? No, they are not.
I know… I can already hear most of my female friends screaming at the computer screen or raising your eyebrows in disbelief at the audacity of such a ludicrous statement. However, this is a very interesting point of view. I myself am guilty of this behavior; my mother actually pointed it out to me saying, “I have a theory about you. You always pick guys you can easily push around. Now (referring to my current husband) you have finally met your match.” So why is it different when a mother says it rather than a man?
This work is short and is a quick read. In my opinion, the audience is really men. Most women who read it out of curiosity will disregard it. On the other hand, I think men will find it interesting, unless you are one of those unstable men. If the Carpenter Routine actually works, and men start using it, the unstable men may find their pond with less fish. Advice to you- you may want to step up your game.
Getting back to women- while the author’s focus is obviously one-sided, it does briefly recognize the comparable behavior in men:
Readers should be aware that there is a flip side to this related to men; namely that many men find bitchy, hard to get women attractive. I don’t pick up on men, so writing about it in detail is difficult. A woman’s perspective on the male version of this would be a very interesting topic.
Is this a challenge? Maybe some of my single readers can test it out and let me know how it went.
I’d like for at least a few people to read this so we can discuss/ debate it. For example, one of my responses was, “A woman deciding not to pursue an engineer may have nothing to do with her feeling dumb around him. It may just be that a lawyer has nothing in common with an engineer. What would they talk about?” While the author and I disagree on the reason, the end result may be the same- the woman passes up the engineer.
Another issue I would love to discuss- Is lying or fudging about your profession an acceptable tactic to lure in a date? If the couple falls in love, will it be a game ender when she finds out? In other words, do the ends justify the means?
And wait until you get to the part about lowered expectations where gift-giving is concerned. I don’t know about you, but in my opinion, sometimes nothing is a better option than ‘it’s the thought that counts.’
So why did I give Meeting Women’s Low Expectations four stars? 1) It made me laugh. 2) The whole theory is well thought out. 3) I think using the Carpenter Routine is hilarious and would love to see it in action with my own eyes. 4) This whole theory and resulting pick up advice will surely result in lively discussion, and I know this from personal experience.
In conclusion, I’ll simply leave you with this quote and my quick response:
When looking for a woman, you are selling your most valuable asset- yourself.
Hmmm… not necessarily… (relax guys, that was a joke)
Reviewed by Christina