REVIEW: Sookie Stackhouse #13: Dead Ever After by Charlaine Harris

SPOILERS WILL ABSOLUTELY BE INCLUDED. DO NOT READ IF YOU INTEND TO READ THIS BOOK AND DON’T WANT ANY SURPRISES RUINED.

Rating: 1 out of 5 stars, Genre: Fiction/ Vampires, Pages: 352, Reading Level: Easy

Book Description from Barnes & Noble:

“THE FINAL SOOKIE STACKHOUSE NOVEL

There are secrets in the town of Bon Temps, ones that threaten those closest to Sookie- and could destroy her heart….

Sookie Stackhouse finds it easy to turn down the request of former barmaid Arlene when she wants her job back at Merlotte’s. After all, Arlene tried to have Sookie killed. But her relationship with Eric Northman is not so clear cut. He and his vampires are keeping their distance… and a cold silence. And when Sookie learns the reason why, she is devastated.

Then a shocking murder rocks Bon Temps, and Sookie is arrested for the crime. But the evidence against Sookie is weak, and she makes bail. Investigating the killing, she’ll learn that what passes for truth in Bon Temps is only a convenient lie. What passes for justice is more spilled blood. And what passes for love is never enough…”

Way to ruin a series… Let’s just say that I have watched the Amazon rating of this book go from three and a half stars down to two in one day! That should tell you something.

Sookie’s relationship with Eric seems to be headed to an end and then Sookie is accused of murder. The town of Bon Temps and all her old friends rally behind Sookie to solve this murder and make sure she can finally live a peaceful life.

Yeah that’s a pretty lame summary but honestly, it’s about all this book deserves. So prepare yourself for a butt whooping.

LET THE SPOILERS COMMENCE.

This morning, after I finished the book, I started to just write and write and write. I figured I would organize afterward. I started to re-read my comments and decided the best way to write this review is to list how Ms. Harris completely ruined the ending of the series for me.

Arlene is the murder victim.

Who the hell cares? I stopped caring about Arlene a long time ago. Arlene being murdered is scandalous? People are killed all over the place in this series, some are set ups, some are huge massacres, etc. etc and Arlene’s murder is a scandal of such magnitude that it deserves to be the final event that ends the ENTIRE series?

How could this have been better? Jason was murdered and Sookie was charged. Quite frankly, almost anything, including alien abduction or zombies, would have been better than this cow patty.

The murderers were the witch’s father and some random lawyer from a previous queen.

Huh? I barely remember those characters. How is it scandalous?

Ms. Harris had a huge opportunity here. The most obvious would have been the queen. That would have made a great story. The queen is jealous of Eric’s love for Sookie even though he divorces Sookie and agrees to be the queen’s consort. So she plots to have Sookie murdered. Eric comes to Sookie’s rescue and in the process is staked by the queen because she would rather see Eric dead than in Sookie’s arms. Sookie is devastated and goes all crazy fairy on the queen, killing her. Pam is appointed to sheriff, doesn’t want it and gives it to Bill, but stays on to help Bill and stick around Sookie. Fast forward two years. Sookie is at Merlotte’s and pregnant with Sam’s baby. Was that so difficult?

Too many murder plots.

Not just the father and lawyer want to kill Sookie, but it ends up so does Steve Newlin, someone else and Claude. And then what was with that brief scene where the minion of the queen came to threaten Sookie and was stopped by a witch house protection system? That led absolutely nowhere. Why all this random and confusing activity? Because of course anyone who had anything against Sookie had to be eliminated so she could live happily ever after. I’m throwing up a little as I write this.

The massive kumbaya.

Why did Harris bring Quinn back? He didn’t do anything before he left to help set up for Eric’s wedding to the queen or something or other. Frankly, I don’t even care enough to get the names right anymore. But did we really need a huge kumbaya session? So there are brief, and I do mean brief, appearances by the queen, Eric, Pam, Bill, Quinn, Alcide, Jason, Hoyt and few others. But guess who is missing? BUBBA! What happened to Bubba? He was one of the most colorful characters, adored Sookie and was missing from the entire ending. HE IS THE KING FOR MERCY’S SAKE AND HE WAS MISSING!

Eric and Sookie’s ho hum breakup.

I am not going to lie; I am a huge Eric fan and from the moment he was introduced in the series, I wanted Sookie to end up with him. Having said that, I was completely prepared for Sookie to end up with Sam. Here are some problems-

After having the most earth shattering sex of her life with a 1000* year old Viking vampire, who was totally in love with her and who she supposedly totally loved all on her own, absent the bond, Sookie basically just says, “See ya” after the divorce ceremony. Even after he shows up at her house trying to figure out how to make it work, she doesn’t really have a strong emotional response. Is it possible she was in shock? Sure. But she never explodes. She never cries. She never mourns. She does hop into bed with Sam though.

Which brings me to my next problem with this. Sam isn’t Sam anymore. For that matter, Sookie isn’t even Sookie anymore. I’ll be honest, she was one of my least favorite characters in this series, but all of a sudden, I didn’t even care enough to dislike her anymore. That’s bad Ms. Harris. Back to Sam… Even though I didn’t want Sookie to end up with Sam, I really liked his character and Ms. Harris basically killed off his whole unique, attractive character from the very beginning.

Then there is the sex, or lack of it I should say. There is one sex scene and of course it is with Sam. And it is completely anti-climactic. I guess once you’ve climbed Mount Everest, everything else is a bit lackluster, but if you’re only going to have one sex scene in a book, please make it a good one.

What would have made this better: If Sam had been the regular old Sam, Sookie knew she was settling for second best and was always haunted by what could have been with Eric but knew he was the price she had to pay for the life she chose, and Sam always knew that he was indeed second best. They were happy, with kids and a white picket fence, but always a little bit melancholy.

Eric’s character assassination by his own progeny.

This is a huge BS moment.

After spending quite a bit of the series presenting Eric as this cold-hearted, unfeeling vampire, only to find that he does have feelings, is really a good guy after all and is totally and completely in love with Sookie, Ms. Harris says, “Psyche!” Just joking. Eric is a jerk after all. And it was pretty much that brief. Eric’s own progeny come over to Sookie’s house and tell her that they love Eric but he really is self-centered and cold. Just ignore the past, say, 5 or 6 books.

The outrageously silly Claude scene.

Let me break this down for you to its important facts and you tell me whether or not you think it is silly.

Niall purposely lets Claude escape from fairyland so he can identify the traitors in fairyland, which are never revealed (spinoff anyone?). Claude’s punishment is to have to remain with humans and no longer be devastatingly attractive. Claude’s two cohorts turn on him when they find out he is gay. In an attempt to show them how being gay is not so disgusting, he talks them into looking at each other and finding the other attractive and then botches it completely by basically saying, “I told you so,” which snaps them out of their trial homosexuality, which in turn causes them to attack Claude. As he is being taken away by the police, Sookie reminds him he will be in a human prison for the rest of his life, which he finds so much more horrible than being viciously tortured for an extremely long amount of time in fairyland, that he attacks the police and the police are forced to shoot and kill him.

Come on, that’s dumb, right? And this isn’t even the main story; it’s like a side thought.

The Devil.

The witch’s dad and his assistant, Tyrese, sell their souls to a devil. Not The Devil, just a devil. Well that is an interesting distinction. What’s the difference? I DON’T KNOW BECAUSE MS. HARRIS DOESN’T TELL US!

And what difference does it make? Was it just a plot device so that Tyrese could pass through the witch home security system undetected? Hmm… How can I get Tyrese past the protection spell? Well if he didn’t have a soul. Hmm… why wouldn’t Tyrese have a soul? Oh I don’t know, I just want to finish this stupid book and end the series already so I’ll just throw in a devil and have him buy Tyrese’s and the witch’s father’s soul.

—–

There is so, so much more but I grow fatigued.

Why did Ms. Harris do this to her series? I am not new to less than spectacular endings of series. I can imagine how difficult it is to maintain such a high level, especially after twelve previous books, although the last one wasn’t all the great either. But this book’s stink factor was just a whole new level. It consists of mostly B characters while all the A characters take a back seat- Eric, Bill, Alcide, Pam and yes, maybe even Quinn and Jason can be considered A characters. They’re all just cameos. Maybe Ms. Harris has decided that she too hates Sookie and decided to take it out on everybody else.

Wow, this book really is a disaster. Why did I give it two stars? Sorry, I’m going to have to drop it to one.

What a disappointment.

Reviewed by Christina

———-

*I originally had 3000, but someone posted a comment that Eric is only 1000 years old, so I corrected it.

7 thoughts on “REVIEW: Sookie Stackhouse #13: Dead Ever After by Charlaine Harris

  1. Wow!! Excellent review. You totally summed up my feelings. I loved this series and am left brutally disappointed by the ending. What a shame…

  2. GREAT review! Although, Eric is around a thousand years old, not 3000 🙂

    But I agree with EVERYTHING! And want to add, Bill, the vamp who betrayed her, raped her, and cheated on her. Is her friendly neighbor and confidante! Of course he is…. because it makes sense… ugh!

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