REVIEW: Undead and Unwed (Undead #1) by Mary Janice Davidson

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars, Genre: Humor/ Vampires, Pages: 255, Level: Easy

Book Description from Goodreads:

“It’s been a helluva week for Betsy Taylor. First, she loses her job. Then, to top things off, she’s killed in a car accident. But what really bites (besides waking up in the morgue dressed in a pink suit and cheap shoes courtesy of her stepmother) is that she can’t seem to stay dead. Every night she rises with a horrible craving for blood. She’s not taking too well to a liquid diet.

Worst of all, her new friends have the ridiculous idea that Betsy is the prophesied vampire queen, and they want her help in overthrowing the most obnoxious, power-hungry vampire in five centuries – a badly dressed Bela Lugosi wannabe, natch. Frankly, Betsy couldn’t care less about vamp politics, but they have a powerful weapon of persuasion: designer shoes. How can any self-respecting girl say now? But a collection of Ferragamos isn’t the only temptation for Betsy. It’s just a lot safer than the scrumptious Sinclair- a seductive bloodsucker whose sexy gaze seems as dangerous as a stake through the heart…”

Ahh, I really needed this.

Just because I’m dead doesn’t mean I can’t have a life. p99

My usual sub-genres are dystopian fiction, apocalyptic fiction, zombies, etc. I also sometimes read non-fiction- religious criticism, apologetics, The Tao of Pooh and the Te of Piglet, you know, stuff like that. I even tackled One Hundred Days of Solitude. Yikes. So sometimes my brain needs a break with something completely different.

Here comes Betsy with her ADHD (I’m guessing) and her designer shoes. Too bad she is dead. And too bad she didn’t stay dead. Well, not for me, that is, because Undead and Unwed is hilarious. It is not as laugh out loud as Lamb by Christopher Moore, but I did chuckle audibly in a few spots:

And don’t get me started on the male models! Much more vain than the ladies. To this day I can’t watch Zoolander; it just hits too damned close to home. I’m sure Ben Stiller thought he was making a comedy, but it was really more like a documentary. p8

Betsy is a blonde, ditsy, pretty self-centered secretary (how cliché) whose priority in life is making enough money to buy designer shoes. Until she dies, rises as a vampire and is informed that she is foretold to be the vampire queen. Talk about turn of events.

After trying to kill herself so that she will stay dead…

He unpinned the small silver cross on his collar and handed it to me. I closed my fingers around it, tightly, wincing in anticipation, but nothing happened. I shook it. Was this thing on? Still nothing. p28

and failing several times, Betsy decides to go on with her life and then proceeds to break almost every vampire cliché and rule she comes across. She meets the über sexy and annoying Sinclair and the evil vampire lord Nostro, at which point Betsy regales the reader with her impressive skill at name-calling. In all fairness, others receive that special treatment as well. Nevertheless, it is quite entertaining. I should probably take notes.

Oh, I almost forgot- Hello mommy porn. Okay, it’s just a teeny tiny bit and very mild, comparatively that is, but it still counts.

Seriously, this is a funny book and imagine my surprise when I discovered it is only one in an actual series, 12 long as of August 6, 2013. If all the books are as funny as this one, I hope number 12 is not the last. Undead and Unwed is a light read, great beach read (although not for me since I am allergic to the sun, quite the coincidence and I’m not kidding), and a nice fun break from more serious books- perfect for giving the old noggin a break.

Reviewed by Christina
September 2, 2013

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